Many cat owners have wondered what their feline friends really think of them. Unlike dogs, who often defer to humans as a different species or as pack leaders, cats seem to treat us in a much more familiar way. If you’ve noticed your cat rubbing against your legs, following you around, or curling up beside you, it might be because your cat perceives you as another cat – just a really big one. Scientists and animal behaviorists suggest that domestic cats see humans as socially significant fellow cats, not as a separate species of stranger. This simple observation explains a lot of the behaviors we see: the affectionate headbutts, the gentle purring and grooming, the meows and rubs. In this article, we’ll explore how cats interact with each other and with us in ways that show they might indeed think of us as part of their feline family.
Feline Social Life in Colonies and Homes
Cats are often thought of as solitary creatures, but they can be quite social on their own terms. In the wild or in free-roaming colonies, cats sometimes live in loosely organized groups (often called colonies) especially when food and shelter are abundant. In these groups, certain cats form close friendships and engage in friendly behaviors with each other: they groom one another, rub against each other in greeting, and even sleep curled up together. Typically, cats reserve such closeness for those they trust or are related to. For example, mother cats and their kittens or littermates often remain friendly, and related females may cooperate in raising young in a colony. Unrelated cats can also learn to get along. Animal behaviorists describe cats as “socially flexible,” meaning they can adapt to living with other cats when needed. They form a social hierarchy that isn’t as rigid as a pack – it’s more about individual friendships and tolerance.
In a multi-cat household, you may notice similar social behaviors. Cats that get along will partake in allogrooming, which means mutual grooming. They might lounge together or touch noses in greeting. When two cats are friendly, one might approach the other with tail held high (a feline way of saying hello) and then rub its head or side along the other cat. This allorubbing behavior mixes their scents and reinforces a sense of group identity. Within a familiar group, cats create a kind of “group scent” by grooming and rubbing on each other and shared objects. It’s like a family perfume that signals who belongs. Cats that feel comfortable together may even nap in a pile or with their bodies touching for warmth and companionship. On the other hand, cats that aren’t friends will mostly avoid each other, keeping to separate spaces. Serious fights are relatively rare in stable groups because cats prefer to use subtle body language and social behaviors to maintain harmony and avoid conflict.
Overall, life in a multi-cat colony or household involves a mix of cooperation and personal space. Friendly cats seek each other out for grooming, play, and sleeping near one another, much as humans in a family do. These natural feline social behaviors set the stage for how cats relate to us – because they often treat us just like another cat in their circle.
Do Cats See Us as Different?
Research suggests that cats do not strongly distinguish humans as completely different beings in the way that dogs do. A dog might see a human as a human (not a dog) and change its behavior accordingly, but a cat seems to assume we are basically big, clumsy cats in their social group. Cat behavior experts have looked for signs that cats alter their social behaviors around people and found very few. John Bradshaw, a biologist who has studied cat behavior, explains that pet cats exhibit the same body language and actions toward humans as they do toward other cats. They raise their tails in greeting, rub around our legs, groom us, and sit beside us — behaviors they normally reserve for feline companions. In other words, cats don’t have a special “human” protocol; they just use their normal cat-to-cat social behaviors on us.
This differs from dogs, who clearly treat humans as something other than fellow dogs. For instance, dogs modify how they play or obey when interacting with people. Cats, by contrast, seem to think we’re just one of the gang (albeit a bit inept by feline standards). Bradshaw notes that cats do notice we’re bigger and sometimes clumsy – many of us trip over cats, while cats elegantly avoid tripping over us – but they don’t treat us as inferior or alien. Tellingly, in cat society, a feline usually won’t rub against another cat that it considers inferior; rubbing is a friendly or even slightly submissive gesture toward a respected companion. The fact that cats rub on our legs indicates they see us as friends or parental figures, not prey and not something to boss around.
Why might cats lack a concept of “human vs. cat”? One reason could be that species identity is not as important to cats as social identity. Cats rely heavily on scent and familiar behaviors to recognize friends. If an animal (even a human) responds in a friendly, caring way, a cat may just integrate that being into its social world. Additionally, from a kitten’s perspective, the giant creature providing food and warmth is essentially a parent, regardless of species. Cats were only semi-domesticated compared to dogs – they coexisted with humans but weren’t intensively bred to follow commands. So they never developed a need to treat humans as masters. To your cat, you are a quirky, tall cat-like companion who shares the home. This perspective shapes the unique relationship we have with cats: one based on mutual affection (on the cat’s terms), rather than domination or obedience.
Grooming You Like Family
Social grooming is one of the clearest signs of affection and acceptance in the feline world. When cats groom each other – licking fur and gently nibbling – it’s called allogrooming, and it serves to strengthen their social bond. Kittens are groomed frequently by their mother, and later, adult cats that are friendly will continue to lick each other, usually around the head and neck where they can’t reach themselves. This behavior is both caring and practical: it keeps their fur clean and mixes their scents. Importantly, cats generally only allogroom cats they feel close to (often family members or longtime companions). So if your cats are licking each other, it’s a good sign of a harmonious relationship.
Some cats extend this affectionate grooming to their human caregivers. If your cat has ever licked your hand, your face, or even your hair, consider it a high compliment. Cats lick humans to communicate and show affection, much as they would with a feline friend. They don’t do this to just anyone. A cat licking you might be trying to “clean” you as it would its own, or simply enjoying your taste (some cats seem to like salt on our skin). Often, cats engage in this behavior when they are feeling calm and connected – for example, a cat sitting on your lap might purr and start licking your fingers. It’s a sign they feel you are part of their family circle.
Interestingly, experts point out that almost all behaviors adult cats show toward us stem from behaviors they learned as kittens with their mother. Kittens knead their mother’s belly to stimulate milk flow and purr to communicate contentment; they are groomed by their mother for cleaning and comfort. When your adult cat kneads on your lap or tries to groom your hair, it is essentially treating you like its mother or a close family member. This is why being licked by a cat, while sometimes a bit scratchy (those tongues are rough!), is generally a sign of trust. Your cat is saying, “You’re my people – I take care of you and you take care of me.” In a multi-cat home, cats often groom each other to maintain a shared scent and bond, and when they groom you, they are likely trying to include you in that cozy club of companionship.
Rubbing and Headbutting: “You’re One of Us”
One of the most common ways cats show that they accept someone (cat or human) is through rubbing and headbutting. If you live with a cat, you’ve probably had the experience of a furry body weaving through your legs or a soft forehead bumping against your hand. When cats rub their cheeks, bodies, or tails against you, they are marking you with their scent and also greeting you warmly. Cats have scent glands in their cheeks, forehead, and at the base of the tail. By pressing their face or flank on you, they leave behind pheromones (scent chemicals) that essentially label you as “mine” or “friend.” In cat colonies, rubbing – also called bunting when they headbutt – is a typical friendly greeting and a way to create a group odor among familiar cats. It’s as if your cat is saying, “Hello, it’s good to see you. You smell like home, and now you smell a bit like me too.”
When your cat greets you at the door with a tail held high and then rubs along your legs, it’s mirroring the way cats greet trusted companions. Felines often raise their tails up vertically to signal friendliness (you might notice two cats that are buddies will do a little nose touch and tail-up stance). They then proceed to rub side by side or head-bump each other. Cats do the same with humans because, again, they don’t draw a line between “cat friend” and “human friend.” Rubbing and headbutting in the cat community are signs of acceptance, belonging, and affection. A veterinarian explains that if your cat deliberately marks you with their pheromones, you should take it as a “badge of honor” – you’ve been accepted into their world.
Scent is a huge part of how cats understand their relationships. By making you smell like them, your cat is integrating you into its safe zone. This behavior also benefits the cat: it can find comfort in its own scent on you. For example, when you come home after being out all day, you might notice your cat rubs on you more energetically. That’s because while you were out, you lost that group scent; now your cat is “reapplying” it to make both of you feel at ease. Rubbing is often accompanied by purring or soft meows, and you might see your cat close its eyes and really push into the rub – clear signs of feline contentment. In sum, those gentle bumps and body rubs are your cat’s way of saying, “you are part of my family” in a language that has been used between cats for thousands of years.
Following You Around Like a Kitten
Not all cats follow their owners from room to room, but many do love to keep an eye on where their favorite people are. If you have a “shadow” cat that trails you through the house – into the kitchen, the living room, even the bathroom – it might be displaying a behavior rooted in kittenhood. In the wild, kittens instinctively follow their mother. They trot after her to learn about the world under her protection and not get left behind. In a domestic setting, pet cats don’t have their feline mothers once they’re adopted by humans, so they often transfer that follower behavior to their human caregivers. Essentially, your cat might see you as a parental figure or at least as someone worth sticking close to for safety and guidance.
Following behavior can simply mean your cat enjoys your company and is curious about what you’re doing. Cats have a reputation for independence, but many form deep attachments to their owners and like being nearby. Your cat might sit on your desk while you work, or perch in the doorway of whatever room you’re in, just observing. This is a sign that the cat feels secure with you and doesn’t want to be alone all the time. Contrary to the old stereotype that cats are aloof and don’t care, a bonded cat can be quite attentive – they can act a bit like a child toddling after a parent to see what’s next. One pet behavior expert noted that cats follow favored humans because they consider those humans as family and don’t want to miss out on anything interesting (and also, just in case you are heading to the food bowl!).
It’s heartwarming to realize that when your cat follows you, it may be showing affection in the way it knows best. If your cat sees you as its “big cat” family member, staying near you is as natural as a kitten sticking close to its mom. This behavior also reflects the trust and security your cat feels. Studies have found that many cats use their owner as a source of safety and comfort in unfamiliar situations. Walking alongside you or staying in your vicinity might help a cat feel more confident, just as a child feels secure knowing a parent is close by. So the next time your cat pads after you across the house, remember it’s likely because they love you and see you as part of their world.
Meowing – Speaking to the “Big Cat” (You)
One very noticeable way cats interact differently with humans than with other cats is through vocalization. Adult cats in a group usually do not meow to each other. They communicate with fellow felines mostly through body language, scent, and occasional hisses or yowls in specific contexts. Kittens, however, meow to get their mother’s attention – it’s a youthful behavior. Interestingly, domestic cats continue to meow into adulthood specifically to communicate with humans. Essentially, they reserve the “meow” as a language just for us. Your cat might meow to say hello, to ask for dinner, or to demand that bedroom door be opened, but you won’t often catch two pet cats meowing at each other for those things.
Why is this? As kittens mature, they typically stop meowing at their feline mothers; the mewling is no longer needed when they can fend for themselves. But when a cat lives with humans, it learns that meowing is an effective way to communicate needs. Since we humans aren’t as fluent in subtle tail flicks and ear twitches, cats adapt by using vocal cues we can notice. In a sense, they think of us as their pseudo-parents, so they continue “calling” to us like a kitten would to its mom. If your cat wants food or attention, it meows because, from its perspective, that’s how one asks a larger caretaker for something. We often respond, reinforcing the behavior. Over time, many cats refine their meows – owners will tell you they can hear a difference between the “feed me” meow, the “pick me up” meow, and the “I’m bored” meow. Indeed, cats are very perceptive and can develop specific sounds for specific outcomes. They are, in effect, training us to understand their requests!
Animal behaviorists have noted that some cats even mimic the patterns of human speech in a rudimentary way, almost like they think we’re all just noisy cats. A cat might meow back when you talk to it, leading to a little back-and-forth “conversation.” According to one insight, cats probably notice that we humans “meow” at each other a lot (meaning we talk) and they try to fit in with our style of communication. So, that cute exchange where you ask “Had a good nap?” and your cat responds “Meow,” could be your cat’s way of humorously treating you like another chatty cat. In summary, meowing is a special cross-species communication tool. It underscores how your cat’s perspective blurs the line between species – they know we’re different in some ways, but they still relate to us as they would to a parent or friend. The meow is their way of saying, “Hey, I need something” or “Hello there,” expecting that we, as their big, somewhat odd-looking cats, will understand.
Sleeping Nearby: Trust and Security
One of the most endearing signs that your cat sees you as part of the family is when it chooses to sleep on or near you. In the wild, solitary hunters like cats are vulnerable when they sleep, so they usually choose a safe, quiet spot. When cats are in a bonded pair or group, they sometimes sleep curled up together, providing mutual protection and warmth. In a colony of friendly cats, you might find two or more cats literally piled in a heap, purring and dozing without a care – a clear indicator of trust. If your cat frequently naps on your lap, drapes itself across your chest, or snuggles at your feet in bed, it’s using the same instinct. Sleeping next to another creature means, “I feel safe with you. I can let my guard down.”
From a cat’s perspective, choosing you as a sleep buddy is high praise. It suggests your cat considers you a source of security, much like kittens view their mother. In fact, scientific studies of cat behavior have reinforced this idea: the majority of pet cats show a secure attachment to their owners, using them as a reassuring base in unfamiliar situations. When your cat curls up beside you and drifts into sleep, it’s demonstrating that you are trusted to keep it safe and comfortable. You might notice your cat even prefers your scent – sleeping on your worn clothes or right next to your pillow – because your smell is associated with companionship and safety.
There’s also a social warmth in sleeping together. Cats who like each other often engage in a bit of mutual grooming before settling down for a nap, and you might see your cat do a few licking passes on your hand or face before it dozes off, as if to say “you’re one of us” one more time. Some cats will literally lie on their human’s chest or lap, which is both a compliment and a sign they might think they own you (cats can be cheeky that way). Either way, co-sleeping in any form – even just being in the same room relaxing – shows that your cat includes you in its inner circle. It’s the ultimate sign of feline trust and affection, forged because your cat sees you not as a strange human, but as a beloved companion.
A Bond Shaped by a Cat’s Perspective
Seeing ourselves through our cats’ eyes can be a delightful thought. In their world, we are big cats that provide food, play, and love – clumsy at times, yes, and lacking a proper fur coat, but still part of the family. This perspective explains so many of their behaviors and deepens the bond we share. When a cat treats you like another cat, it is not an insult; it’s an invitation into its intimate social sphere. Your cat rubbing your leg, licking your fingers, or napping on your lap is saying that you are home to them, the same way a fellow cat might be.
Experts in animal behavior agree that the cat-human relationship is very much like a friendship or parent-child relationship rather than a master-servant relationship. Cats do not submit to owners in the way dogs might; instead, they interact with us as equals or as family. They communicate their needs (through meows or gentle bites), they bring us “gifts” like a toy or the occasional unfortunate prey as they would share with kin, and they expect us to understand their subtle signals. Over the years of domestication, cats have honed their ability to live alongside humans by treating us as fellow cats – and remarkably, it works. We respond to their meows and headbutts without needing them to change who they are.
The bond that results is a unique cross-species friendship. It is characterized by mutual comfort and gentle understanding. Studies have even shown that cats can form secure attachments to their owners similar to those that dogs and even human infants form with caregivers. The majority of cats see their human as a source of safety and will seek them out for comfort in times of stress. This finding tells us that when your cat treats you like “mom” or a trusted peer, it’s because that’s exactly what you are in their eyes – someone who provides love and security.
In conclusion, the idea that “cats think we’re just big cats” highlights the beauty of our relationships with them. It reminds us that to our cats, we are not strangers of a different species but rather companions on equal footing in a shared home. By observing their behaviors – the grooming, rubbing, following, meowing, and cuddling – we can appreciate that our cats are including us in their world the only way they know how. It’s a warm, reassuring thought: your cat sees you as one of its own. And in return, many of us come to see our cats as part of our family too, speaking a silent language of friendship that bridges the species gap. Understanding this cat perspective can help us deepen our connection with our feline friends, making our lives together even more rewarding.